Tuesday, July 26, 2005


I killed an animal with my car, driving home tonight. It was the first time I've ever hit anything, so it freaked me out completely.

I don't know what kind of animal it was. Whatever I hit was big, but not mess-up-your-car big.

From the size of it, I've narrowed down the possibilities to:
a) dog
b) raccoon
c) badger

Even though it's the least likely possibility, I'm trying very hard to convince myself that the correct answer is c) badger.

Because badgers are mean.

Not that I necessarily want them all dead, really. If I drive by that spot tomorrow and see a dead badger, I'm not going to, like, throw a party, or anything. I'm not anti-badger. I'm just more pro-dog, I guess.


Blogger Zachary said...

What about an oppossum?

July 27, 2005 8:01 AM  
Blogger wobbleboard said...

Sorry to hear that you hit something. That must have been unpleasant. My vote is for a raccoon, partly because of the cosmic symmetry: Raccoons kill bugs; Bug kills raccoon. Also, this being the Badger State, I'd rather not see one of them get offed, even though they are bastards. (Besides, aren't badgers actually somewhat rare in Wisconsin?)

And I agree with Zachary -- it could have been a possum, especially since they're nocturnal.

July 27, 2005 8:18 AM  
Blogger Ian McGibboney said...

Whatever it was, it probably had a neocon outlook. Most dumb road-dwelling animals do.

July 27, 2005 8:47 AM  
Anonymous Winston Smith said...

I vote for Chinchilla. Somebody told me fur is dead, so it would all make sense then.

Option 2 - it was a rat. A BF rat. In which case, you are my hero.

July 27, 2005 10:41 AM  
Blogger Flamingo Jones said...

This was bigger than a possum and it moved faster. I know my roadkill.

July 27, 2005 12:04 PM  
Blogger SJ said...

I know how awful that is, please be a badger, please be a badger! (although down South, it's almost always a possum. Stupid possums.)

July 28, 2005 11:43 AM  

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