Friday, December 16, 2005

Welcome to the Monkeyhouse

So, I saw King Kong tonight at work with the boys. I have been so excited for this movie the past few weeks, so that's awesome, right?

Except for the fact that the movie was so sad I almost couldn't take it. Now, I've seen the original movie a few times, and I didn't just fall off the turnip truck yesterday...so I KNEW how the movie was going to end. I tried to brace myself for it. It didn't help though. That big monkey is just so darn lovable. I refuse to let the delinquents see me cry, so for like the last 30 minutes, I was choking back tears so hard that my jaw ached from clenching my teeth. It was kind of a relief when it was done.

I walked out of the theater, and one of my charges (an incredibly entertaining young black kid) said "I am NEVER seeing that movie again." I asked him why not, and he said "That damn monkey almost made me cry. Why do Americans have to destroy everything?"

Whoa! Pretty interesting insight.

Then, one of the other boys, a Native kid, came up to me and said he felt like crying too. I assured them that I also was sad because of the movie. The three other boys we had along all said that they loved the movie and didn't think it was sad at all. The Native boy leaned over and whispered to me "It's because they are all White Men. White Men don't feel anything."

Double Whoa.

The perceptions these kids have (though not always entirely accurate) are amazing sometimes.

Then, to make ourselves feel better, the three of us who HAVE human emotions, spent the drive back to the house brainstorming ways that we would have saved King Kong if it were up to us. (The conversation was similar to last weekend's brainstorming session on how many penguins we would have rescued if WE were the filmmakers responsible for March of the Penguins.)

Anyway, I did think King Kong was good, in general. Although, and I know I am probably the only person alive who feels this way, I sometimes think that Peter Jackson doesn't understand the concepts of "the law of diminishing return," "too much of a good thing" and "leave them wanting more." Sometimes his stuff is just too much. That's why I was the only person in the world who didn't think Return of the King was the greatest movie ever made. At one point on opening day, I accidentally, sarcastically, said out loud "Oh goody...more Orcs...." I'm kind of surprised I didn't get shanked in the parking lot by some disgruntled geek shrieking obscenities in Elvish.

I just think that Jackson's action sequences are repetitive and way too long, in general. For example...in this flick, there are some dinosaurs...woo hoo!
King Kong vs. 1 T-Rex = "Cool!"
King Kong vs. 2 T-Rexes = "Whoa! Awesome!"
King Kong vs. 3 T-Rexes = "Jesus Christ, enough already! If one more T-Rex shows up, I'm going to figure out a way to kill myself using this popcorn bag and a drinking straw."

There were a number of moments like that in the movie. If every one of those scenes could have been tightened up, the movie could have clocked in at closer to 2.5 hours than the 3+ hours it runs. Why do his movies have to be so freakin' long?

12 Comments:

Blogger HappyFunBall said...

I have a better question. Why couldn't he have made Harry Potter and TGOF? That movie would have been so much better as 3 hours.

December 16, 2005 11:32 PM  
Blogger Flamingo Jones said...

True...but it Jackson did it, he wouldn't have been to add anymore story or plot elements...the extra time would have been eaten up with quidditch and dragon fights.

December 17, 2005 9:00 AM  
Blogger Ian McGibboney said...

Those are some very lucid kids.

December 17, 2005 10:16 AM  
Blogger Neil Shakespeare said...

LOL! "White men don't feel anything." That is COLD, man! True, but cold.

December 17, 2005 11:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

They can't dance or jump, either. Must suck to be a white man, eh?

HFB

December 17, 2005 1:13 PM  
Blogger Flamingo Jones said...

Yeah, but they get paid more for the same work and can be promiscuous with no social stigma...so it all evens out.

December 17, 2005 5:07 PM  
Blogger Ian McGibboney said...

White guys suck.

December 18, 2005 1:17 AM  
Blogger R said...

I could watch dinosaur fights for hours.

I love that stuff!

Is there for real a Kong vs. 3 T.Rexes fight? Because if there is then I really need to get my ass out and see that flick.

December 19, 2005 7:50 AM  
Blogger Flamingo Jones said...

Yes, there is. I'm warning you though...it really should have stopped at King Kong vs. 2 T-Rexes. Seriously.

But I do have to admit that my very favorite part of the movie is how King Kong kills the last of the three.

December 19, 2005 8:07 AM  
Blogger Murph said...

I have to say that I thought the dinosaur stuff was the best part of the movie, and while the 3rd fight may have seemed like too much, it was redeemed by the excellent 4th and 5th fights, along with the nasty centipede encounter in between.

Viva Kong!

December 19, 2005 9:54 AM  
Anonymous wink dinkerson said...

The monkey dies? Aw, crap.

December 19, 2005 8:17 PM  
Blogger Crazy Dan said...

Hello Flamingo Jones, thanks for sharing this info. I've been looking everywhere to find info about king kong toys to share with my readers at http://thenameiskong.blogspot.com/2005/11/crazy-king-kong-toys.html. Your post Welcome to the Monkeyhouse is great.

January 12, 2006 1:12 PM  

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