Tuesday, December 06, 2005

The 2005 Flamingo Jones Music Awards

Welcome to the 2005 Flamingo Jones Music Awards. If this were a televised award show, it would be hosted by Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon. Just pretend, OK?

A slightly different sort of award, music need not necessarily have been produced in 2005 to win a Flamingo Jones Music Award. Be prepared for some non-traditional categories as well.

First up, the award for Artist Who Seems to Be Randomly Showing Up So Many Places It Makes Me Think That Maybe I Should Try To Like Him goes to…..

Ben Lee. This little dude is everywhere I look (er…listen) lately. My New Music from New West music sampler. Covering my all-time favorite song on the This Bird Has Flown tribute to Rubber Soul album. On the soundtrack to the movie Just Friends. He’s all over the place. So, I’ve listened to his Awake is the New Sleep disc a few times. I really like a couple of the songs, but I’m reluctant to buy a full price ticket on the Ben Lee Express for one big reason: this video for “Catch My Disease (or, as I refer to it, “The STD Song”). Watching this video makes me feel the same way I did as a kid the time I ate like 4 packages of Pop Rocks at once. So, pretty gross.

And the award for Artist Who Seems to Be Randomly Showing Up So Many Places It Makes Me Think That Maybe I Should Try To Like Her goes to…

Dar Williams. I don’t know why I haven’t really liked Dar Williams thus far. I think it’s just because everybody else does. I’ve been resisting. But her version of Comfortably Numb is starting to win me over. And there aren’t any hoola hoops or line dancers involved, so in addition to the award, she also gets a cookie. Suck on that Ben Lee.

The Award for Favorite Song Title goes to

Stars for Your Ex-Lover Is Dead.

The runner-up for Favorite Song Title also goes to Stars for One More Night (Your Ex-Lover Remains Dead).

The Best Looking Boys in Tight Trousers Award goes to Franz Ferdinand. Again. It actually took me a while to warm up to their new album You Could Have It So Much Better, but I love it now. They’re all even better looking in person too.

The Good Speller Award goes to Gwen Stefani. Thanks to Gwen, all of my elementary school students can correctly spell the word “bananas.” Previous winners in this category include 50 Cent for ensuring that my 1st grade students could write things like “Brian is a P-I-M-P” all over everything.

The Coolest Brother and Sister Combo statue is awarded to the Fiery Furnaces. The Fiery Furnaces also pick up an award for Best Use of a Grandparent for their Rehearsing My Choir album.

The award for the Best “You Are an Asshole and I Never Want to See You Again, but I Have to Drive Past Your House Every Day to Get to Work and Back” Song goes to The Old 97's for the live version of Wish the Worst on their Alive and Wired album.

I hope you craaaash your mama’s car,
I hope you’re passed out in some bar,
I hope you catch some kind of flu,
Just say I wish the worst for you.

The Fact that Something This Awesome Exists Makes Me Happy to Be Alive Award goes to The New Pornographers for Twin Cinema. Wow.

The Why Hasn’t This Artist Been Signed Already, For God’s Sake Award is given to Gene Serene. Gene also picks up a statue for “Best Hair as well.

And the Best Musical Performance in a Film Award goes to none other than our hosts, Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon for kicking ass and taking names in Walk the Line.


Blogger barn said...

Great post! Question (re: Dar Williams): Can a cover of a cover be considered a cover of that cover, or are all covers, by definition, covers of the original? Just askin.
And thanks for introducing me to the (visually) stunning GeNe SeReNe. WOW! Can't wait to hear her.

December 07, 2005 8:43 AM  
Blogger Flamingo Jones said...

Hmm. That's a good question! I think it depends on the situation and intent or something.

Gene Serene lets you download most of the songs on her cd for free on the site. She's so awesome.

December 07, 2005 10:04 AM  
Blogger jenny said...

this is awesome. i particularly love the good speller award (and that's one adverb i'm having trouble spelling, i hope someone writes a song that includes it). :)

December 08, 2005 4:20 PM  

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