I could SO be an evil genius.
My random thought for the day:
If I were an evil genius super-villain in a comic, I'd be so awesome at it. I have this great plan to wreak havoc and mayhem and facilitate world domination. You know how every decent evil genius super-villain has some sort of cool and deadly world-ending gadget? I thought of a great one today.
If I were an evil genius super-villain in a comic, I would invent a special kind of cooling laser or generator that would eliminate friction on demand.
Think about it for a minute.
That would seriously fuck stuff up.
I'd start off small, just testing it in isolated areas. People would walking down the sidewalk then ZAP! The ground beneath their feet would suddenly feel like the smoothest ice imaginable and they'd all fall on their asses, BAM!
When I was ready for a larger-scale attack (POW!), there would be some significant mayhem to be created. Cars would swerve into things, and lots of stuff would stop working (I remember learning in Physics that friction is, like, totally important).
Then eventually, I'd have developed the capability to de-frictionize the whole planet with the push of a button. At that point, I could demand a huge ransom from world leaders in return for allowing them to keep their precious friction. MWAH HA HA HA!
Of course, I'd have to fend off a pesky superhero or two....but like all good evil genius super villains, I have enough hubris to believe that those worthless do-gooders could never touch me.
I'd have to come up with a better evil genius super-villain name though...."Flamingo" doesn't really inspire the kind of fear and intimidation that I'd be looking for.
(on a totally different random note: this is a good account of my high school band camp memories.)
If I were an evil genius super-villain in a comic, I'd be so awesome at it. I have this great plan to wreak havoc and mayhem and facilitate world domination. You know how every decent evil genius super-villain has some sort of cool and deadly world-ending gadget? I thought of a great one today.
If I were an evil genius super-villain in a comic, I would invent a special kind of cooling laser or generator that would eliminate friction on demand.
Think about it for a minute.
That would seriously fuck stuff up.
I'd start off small, just testing it in isolated areas. People would walking down the sidewalk then ZAP! The ground beneath their feet would suddenly feel like the smoothest ice imaginable and they'd all fall on their asses, BAM!
When I was ready for a larger-scale attack (POW!), there would be some significant mayhem to be created. Cars would swerve into things, and lots of stuff would stop working (I remember learning in Physics that friction is, like, totally important).
Then eventually, I'd have developed the capability to de-frictionize the whole planet with the push of a button. At that point, I could demand a huge ransom from world leaders in return for allowing them to keep their precious friction. MWAH HA HA HA!
Of course, I'd have to fend off a pesky superhero or two....but like all good evil genius super villains, I have enough hubris to believe that those worthless do-gooders could never touch me.
I'd have to come up with a better evil genius super-villain name though...."Flamingo" doesn't really inspire the kind of fear and intimidation that I'd be looking for.
(on a totally different random note: this is a good account of my high school band camp memories.)
posted by Flamingo Jones at 1/25/2006 08:09:00 PM
11 Comments:
I hear the name "Phizz" is now available. Other possibilities:
--Frictionary
--Slipslider
--Motion Fracture
--Free Shove
--Inertia Jones
--Banana's Lip
--Wavement
--The Slidewalk
--The Anti-Trot Twat (is this a porn comic?)
--The Spillin' Villain
--NASAhat
--The Ice Creamer
--Jane's No-Friction' (Theme song: "Been Caught Stealing--Your Footing!")
--Flamingo Other-Leg Folder
--That Evil Bitch Who Makes Us Fall
And could your laser be called? The Non-Friction Section, of course!
-- Smooth Operator
-- Slide Ruler
-- Dr. Zoom
Excellent superpower. All of mine are useless.
BTW, I could not follow the myspace link--it kept leading me to sign up to myspace instead of taking me to the blog.
(I think I fixed the link, Chuckie.)
Ian, do I seem like the kind of person who would be in a porn comic?
Wait...don't answer that.
I dig Frictionary and the Non-Friction Section a lot. I could be a librarian by day, evil genius super-villain by night.
I like Slide Ruler too though...damn. It's hard to choose.
Sorry, you can't have That Evil Bitch Who Makes Us Fall, that's my alter-ego. Not because I have any special powers/evil lasers, but because I trip people in the street.
Wow, Nick...your fiancee is a lucky, lucky lady. :)
I don't know, Nick...a little friction kinda helps in that area. As does a warmed-up lady.
Nick, Flamingo and I have a running bet that you'll always bring up football. Pay up!
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Because there's a fine at Flamingo Jones for bringing up Ted Kennedy. Pay up!
That's not fair, Nick! I can't make fun of you when you say that.
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