Tuesday, January 24, 2006

That's what I call REAL spam mail.

This post is about my most treasured possession. Now, I know that I like to tell everyone that my most treasured possession is the photo that Jimmy Buffett autographed to me, but that's a lie. Jimmy is really just a close second.

My real most treasured possession is a letter about SPAM.

When I was little, I used to beg my mother to cook SPAM. Not because I liked eating it....GOD no. That stuff tasted horrible. But, at the time the cans were opened with a little key-type thing. Whenever my mom cooked SPAM at my request, I got to keep the little keys. I had quite a collection of them, and they always figured prominently into whatever fantastical make-believe games I happened to be playing at the time. I loved those keys. They were, dare I say it, magical to me.

Then, when I was 7 years old, something horrible happened. Hormel changed the way they packaged SPAM, and started using boring old ring-openers like pop cans have. Those sucked. They were of absolutely no value in any of my make-believe worlds.

So, I did what any abnormal 7 year-old would do: I sat down and crafted a protest letter to SPAM. I voiced my dismay over the new packaging. I explained my argument, elaborating on many of the make-believe games that resided solely in my warped little brain. I strongly encouraged them to reconsider their horrible decision, and I vaguely hinted at a possible SPAM Boycott in the very near future.

A few weeks later, I got a large envelope in the mail from Hormel. Someone had read my letter (much to their amusement, I'm sure) and thought enough of it to personally respond.

click to enlarge

Now, at the time, the letter and accompanying SPAM Poster just pissed me off more. They were NOT going to take my advice, which was very disappointing. Also, they did not send me boxes and boxes of left-over keys, as I had frequently envisioned in my fantasies.

But now, whenever I run across the letter (which I have saved in its original envelope) it makes me laugh every time. Which is worth quite a bit to me. Even more than an elusive Jimmy Buffett autograph.

The SPAM Luncheon Meat Poster--by popular demand


Blogger Ian McGibboney said...

Hey! Where's the SPAM poster? Inquiring minds want to know!

I think you owe Dale a cookie. Or maybe a thank-you note, at least. And maybe a picture of you playing with their keys.

January 24, 2006 11:21 PM  
Blogger Flamingo Jones said...

OK. You win. I'll add the poster too.

January 25, 2006 12:13 AM  
Blogger wobbleboard said...

For me, the fact that a letter about Spam is your most cherished possession outweighs the fact that Jimmy Buffet's autograph is your second most prized possession.

No offense, but Jimmy Buffet?

Then again, I actually *like* eating Spam, so we all have our shortcomings.

January 25, 2006 8:22 AM  
Blogger Flamingo Jones said...

Scoff if you want. I'm very unapologetic about my love of Jimmy Buffett. Me and like a billion other people.

January 25, 2006 9:41 AM  
Blogger R said...

I want to read the letter you sent. :)

January 25, 2006 2:01 PM  

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