That's what I call REAL spam mail.
This post is about my most treasured possession. Now, I know that I like to tell everyone that my most treasured possession is the photo that Jimmy Buffett autographed to me, but that's a lie. Jimmy is really just a close second.
My real most treasured possession is a letter about SPAM.
When I was little, I used to beg my mother to cook SPAM. Not because I liked eating it....GOD no. That stuff tasted horrible. But, at the time the cans were opened with a little key-type thing. Whenever my mom cooked SPAM at my request, I got to keep the little keys. I had quite a collection of them, and they always figured prominently into whatever fantastical make-believe games I happened to be playing at the time. I loved those keys. They were, dare I say it, magical to me.
Then, when I was 7 years old, something horrible happened. Hormel changed the way they packaged SPAM, and started using boring old ring-openers like pop cans have. Those sucked. They were of absolutely no value in any of my make-believe worlds.
So, I did what any abnormal 7 year-old would do: I sat down and crafted a protest letter to SPAM. I voiced my dismay over the new packaging. I explained my argument, elaborating on many of the make-believe games that resided solely in my warped little brain. I strongly encouraged them to reconsider their horrible decision, and I vaguely hinted at a possible SPAM Boycott in the very near future.
A few weeks later, I got a large envelope in the mail from Hormel. Someone had read my letter (much to their amusement, I'm sure) and thought enough of it to personally respond.
click to enlarge
Now, at the time, the letter and accompanying SPAM Poster just pissed me off more. They were NOT going to take my advice, which was very disappointing. Also, they did not send me boxes and boxes of left-over keys, as I had frequently envisioned in my fantasies.
But now, whenever I run across the letter (which I have saved in its original envelope) it makes me laugh every time. Which is worth quite a bit to me. Even more than an elusive Jimmy Buffett autograph.
The SPAM Luncheon Meat Poster--by popular demand
My real most treasured possession is a letter about SPAM.
When I was little, I used to beg my mother to cook SPAM. Not because I liked eating it....GOD no. That stuff tasted horrible. But, at the time the cans were opened with a little key-type thing. Whenever my mom cooked SPAM at my request, I got to keep the little keys. I had quite a collection of them, and they always figured prominently into whatever fantastical make-believe games I happened to be playing at the time. I loved those keys. They were, dare I say it, magical to me.
Then, when I was 7 years old, something horrible happened. Hormel changed the way they packaged SPAM, and started using boring old ring-openers like pop cans have. Those sucked. They were of absolutely no value in any of my make-believe worlds.
So, I did what any abnormal 7 year-old would do: I sat down and crafted a protest letter to SPAM. I voiced my dismay over the new packaging. I explained my argument, elaborating on many of the make-believe games that resided solely in my warped little brain. I strongly encouraged them to reconsider their horrible decision, and I vaguely hinted at a possible SPAM Boycott in the very near future.
A few weeks later, I got a large envelope in the mail from Hormel. Someone had read my letter (much to their amusement, I'm sure) and thought enough of it to personally respond.
click to enlarge
Now, at the time, the letter and accompanying SPAM Poster just pissed me off more. They were NOT going to take my advice, which was very disappointing. Also, they did not send me boxes and boxes of left-over keys, as I had frequently envisioned in my fantasies.
But now, whenever I run across the letter (which I have saved in its original envelope) it makes me laugh every time. Which is worth quite a bit to me. Even more than an elusive Jimmy Buffett autograph.
The SPAM Luncheon Meat Poster--by popular demand
posted by Flamingo Jones at 1/24/2006 10:49:00 PM
4 Comments:
Hey! Where's the SPAM poster? Inquiring minds want to know!
I think you owe Dale a cookie. Or maybe a thank-you note, at least. And maybe a picture of you playing with their keys.
OK. You win. I'll add the poster too.
Scoff if you want. I'm very unapologetic about my love of Jimmy Buffett. Me and like a billion other people.
I want to read the letter you sent. :)
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