Sunday, October 23, 2005

"Think about baseball."

That never works for me though. Because, to be honest, baseball kinda turns me on. Just a little.

Too much information, I know.

I only mention it because in a weekend (or really a month. Or two.) full of nothing but metaphorical sewage, the one good thing that happened to me today was Game 1 of the World Series.

The White Sox won. It was glorious. But, I'm normally not a White Sox fan. I'm only a fan because their catcher is A.J. Pierzynski. The same A.J. Pierzynski who used to catch for the Twins.

This is how I know that the White Sox are going to win.

Last year, the Red Sox won. I firmly believe they won because they had recently acquired former Twins 1st-baseman Doug Mientkiewicz. And my boy Doug caught the ball that caused the out that won the game that won the series. (and then he refused to give said history-making ball to the team, causing major turmoil.)

Back in college, I used to go to a LOT of Twins games. Especially the Spring of my Senior year. And that year, Doug Mientkiewicz was my 2nd favorite player. My favorite player is, was, and always will be, A.J. Pierzynski.

I have an unholy love for A.J. Pierzynski. I can't explain it. But I like catchers. And A.J.'s quietly (and sometimes not-so-quietly) controversial. Also good. And he's totally sexy in a not-quite-traditional sense of the word. Which is perfect.

When he got traded to the Giants, I was despondent for a few days. But then I took action. I took EBAY action. I bought up every bit of A.J. Pierzynski-as-a-Twin merchandise I could afford.

I have an A.J. Pierzynski jersey. I have an A.J. Pierzynski bobble-head. I have an A.J. Pierzynski autograph. I have A.J. Pierzynski baseball cards. And most of all, I have A.J. Pierzynski dreams....but those came free.

So, last year, I got to watch Doug Mientkiewicz win the World Series. And now, I'm convinced I'm going to get to watch A.J. Pierzynski win the World Series.

Just not for my beloved Minnesota Twins.

I think this is akin to God taking Moses up to the mountain-top to look at the promised land from a distance, and then telling him that's all he gets.

But I think I'm more desperate for good news than Moses ever was....even after wandering in the desert for 40 years.

So, the jokes on God. I'll take what I can get, and be damn happy with it.

Or, at least, the closest approximation to "damn happy" I can muster.


Blogger PusBoy said...

Um, why are you thinking about baseball durung the implied encounters? We men are thinking about it to stave off an early departure.

October 24, 2005 6:14 AM  
Blogger Flamingo Jones said...

I just needed a title. Something slightly less obnoxious than "I Heart A.J. Pierzynski!!!!!"

October 24, 2005 7:33 AM  
Blogger Ian McGibboney said...

Swinging bats, balls, muscles, home runs and pop flies--it's no accident that baseball is the sport of choice when describing your date's progression: "He...could...go...all...the....WAY!"

A better hold-off strategy for me is to think of this girl in junior high who, despite being extremely ugly, used to constantly dis me. Actually, that works too well sometimes. Then I have to start thinking about baseball again.

October 24, 2005 12:26 PM  
Blogger Flamingo Jones said...

You forgot stolen bases, Ian. Those are my favorites.

October 24, 2005 11:57 PM  

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